20 May 2012

Friends can be the best teachers ...

We all have them... friends. Some we love, some we tolerate, some drive us nuts, some are high maintenance, some are good to meet for drinks, some you'd like to spend a whole day with and then some (just a few) are so much a part of you, it would be unthinkable to live life without them. 

But every single one of them can teach you something. I've learnt a lot from friends of mine over the years. 

Friends forever ....
To say no
In my 20's, I shared a house with a friend of mine. On Saturday mornings I wanted to go clothes shopping, or out for a coffee with her. But most of the time, she would just say no. This annoyed me, and hurt me until I realised that she wasn't saying it to hurt me, she was saying no because she didn't want to do it. She was being true to herself no matter what I thought about it. A valuable lesson indeed. (We are still friends btw)

To be nicer
I have another friend who can be very cutting and sharp and essentially bitchy when she gets angry or has to confront. I know another side to her so it doesn't put me off, but many people don't like her because of it. I learned from this that I don't need to be aggressive or nasty to make my point. I can do it in a nice way too.

To give your attention to what you are doing
One of my dearest friends, is kind and caring, but definitely no pushover. When she speaks to you, there is nothing in the world other than you. She focusses completely on you, the conversation or what she is doing. 
No matter whether a person is a street sweeper of a head of state, everyone deserves respect and your attention. To be dismissive is rude, and reflects on no one else but you. 

To buy quality
I used to buy loads of throw rugs to cover the terracotta tiles in my house, until a friend of mine said to me, "Why do you buy this cheap stuff? It will never last. Rather buy something that will get better and better with age. Have you thought of Persian carpets?" I hadn't, simply because I imagined they would be far too expensive for me to afford. But when I looked into it, they weren't really. So I started one at a time. I now have enough beautiful Persian carpets to throw over every room in the house. 
You don't have to be the same to be friends ....

One of the most special things that I experience every day from my friends, my family and occasionally from people I have never met before is .... kindness. 

What have your friends taught you? What have you learned from the people you spend the most time with? I'd love to know .....